Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Dear Winter,

I think it's time we parted ways.

I hate to do this to you so close to Valentine's Day, but let's face it, you were planning to leave me around March 21 anyway. Why prolong the agony?

Sure, you look pretty and all, but I just feel like you're always dumping on me.

And you don't do anything to help around here. You leave a mess in the driveway and I'm the one who has to clean it up. Sure, if I left it there long enough, you'd take care of it eventually, but that's just not good enough.

When I think of you, I get a chill...not in a good way. Occasionally you'll surprise me with a brief showing of warmth, only to take it away the next day.

I have had it.

Goodbye, and good luck.


Saturday, February 5, 2011

A Commercial Break...

Clearly this blog is lacking a clear sense of direction. My last entry was a letter to God. This entry is about a random memory that was in my head this morning when I woke up. I’m not sure why it was there or why I’m sharing, but…

I think most of my former teachers would say I was a good kid. Not perfect, but I got good grades and didn’t cause or get into trouble (much).

Except there was this one time…in 8th grade…

In English class, we’d been given a group assignment to create (on paper) a made up product and write a commercial for it. My team consisted of my best friend, Mary, and another gal, Michelle.

I came up with the product idea. I’m not sure if I’m proud of that fact or not. Our imaginary product was a spray that would remove gunk from stuff. For instance, if you stepped in gum, you could use our product to get it off your shoe. The product name was...

Our commercial went something like, “If you step in gum, don’t panic, just say ‘Off Uck.’” And we had a catchy little jingle of some sort.

Anyway, at some point our English teacher got wind of this idea and was not happy about it. She didn’t specifically tell us NOT to do it, but word had it that if we went through with it we would be facing detention. Well, I wasn’t keen on detention, but even more than that I wasn’t keen on bringing two friends down with me. So, we kept the concept but changed the name slightly to “Yuck Off.” Yeah, that’s a lot better.